Now I've Seen It All

OK... so Harley loves to go places. Give her a chance to get in the car and she's gone. I myself prefer to stay home. It seems like something bad always happens when i get in the car. Well, last weekend Harley went to Dogtoberfest at Lake Jacomo. She had a pretty good time. Told me there were a lot of other dogs... oh goodie. This week Mom and Dad put her in a little Chiefs uniform and took her to the Plaza. When they got to the Plaza they went trick-or-treating at the stores! Can you believe that??? I mean, don't these shopkeepers have better things to do than hand out biscuits to a totally spoiled puppy. Apparently it was an event called Growloween... how cute! I take offense to Three Dog Bakery giving out free Scary Kitty Cookies... I saw it... it didn't look scary to me and I'm an expert in scary kitties. The little bitch came home with quite a haul. She must have gotten a pound of dog biscuits. Now, everyone knows Halloween is all about black cats... why not an event for us??? Meow-o-ween! Brilliant! They could give out lox and salmon and crab. Yes, that sounds like a wonderful event. Perhaps I can get Dad to organize it for next year.

Holy Shit Batman!

Literally... shit is the topic of this blog. I got a new high-tech litterbox. You should see it... it's so cool. I thought a covered litterbox was the end-all be all but no... this one is self cleaning. I step in, do my business, get out and 10 minutes later a little electronic arm sweeps away my mess. It's so cool!!! I thought that Mom got it for me just to make me feel special. And I did feel special... until I heard her tell Dad that maybe this would keep Harley from getting in my litterbox and bringing her presents. Um, hello! Why does everything have to be about that damn dog??? Give me a break people... she eats my crap! What can be so special about her???
I realize it's been a while since I've blogged but I've been so busy. For one thing... I have to babysit Harley all day... and do I get paid-- NO! Dad says I get kibble and that should be payment enough! There are labor laws in this country... perhaps he should become familiar with them. Then there has been my weekend job at the Ren Fest. That ended last weekend. I did pretty good... made a tidy little sum of cash and met a lot of great people. I think I'll do it again next year.

Harley is getting big... she's 26 pounds now... that's 2 of me! I can still hold my own against her when we wrestle but it's getting harder and harder. She's gotten into this annoying habit of taking my collar off of me and teasing me with it -- bitch! Mom always manages to retrieve it and put it back on me but it's the principle of the matter. It's mine, she should not be allowed to take it off my body for her amusement! She also figured out today that she is big enough to jump on the bed. Should make bedtime tonight a lot of fun... I'm the one who sleeps on the bed... NOT HER!

The Art, The Beauty...

I've taken up flower arranging. I love taking a heap of stems and making them into something beautiful. The art of it... the beauty... and when I'm done, there is something for everyone to enjoy! Of course, I have to make sure that Harley keeps her mangy little nose away... I tell you, that puppy is into everything! But alas, I digress, I think I'll go sit with my roses and relax for a while.

This is how the universe should be -- me on the couch... the dog on the floor!!! HA HA HA!!!

More Scrapbooking

Harley is locked up during the day so I've been able to catch up on some scrapbooking. I got this layout started but I need some inspiration to get it finished. Maybe if I lay here for a while I'll get a great idea.

Sheesh... Now I'm A Dentist

Harley thought she had a cavity - she's such a hypchondriac, so I decided to take a look. I had her open wide and peeked inside. Turned out it wasn't a cavity, the little knucklehead bit her tongue while barking at her shadow. So, I told her to rinse out her mouth and take it easy for a day or two, she should be fine. I'm sending Mom and Dad a bill for doggie dental services!

Weekend Job

I got a weekend job. I opened a store at the Renaissance Festival... Cosmos Coin Exchange. Basically I take people's money and exchange it for crap! It's a great racket. Well, this was opening weekend and I was really proud of my booth so I got complimentary tickets for the whole family. It was so embarassing! Harley insisted on having her picture taken with all the cutouts that are for the human kids! She got an audience with the queen... boy she thinks she's hot stuf because of that but the queen talks to everyone. The worst part, Harley was a regular little kissing bandit! She kissed EVERYONE! Talk about the town tramp! Sheesh girl, have some pride in the family name. I was disappointed because I wanted to introduce Mom and Dad to my new friends but I didn't want them to know that the kissing bandit was my sister! My favorite guy, Evil, he hates everything. I thought he was so cool... then my baby sister tamed him... it was so embarassing. He kept crying out "you don't see this" but everyone did. Maybe I should just embrace it and open up a kissing booth next to my coin exchange... puppy kisses $1... it could work.

How to Drive a Puppy Nuts!

I love standing on the gate and tormenting Harley!

New Furniture!

Mom and Dad got new furniture for the bedroom. I love the dresser!!! It's big and has a mirror I can look in. The best feature is I can stand on it and stare around the corner when Harley is sleepin on the bathroom floor -- and she can't get to me!!! HA!!!

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

Mom says I should let sleeping dogs lie... sometimes it's easier said than done.

The Camera Doesn't Lie

I thought I hid my feelings about the new puppy from everyone pretty well... until I saw one of Mom's new scrapbook pages. They say a picture is worth a thousand mews... no kidding. Talk about deer in the headlights! The good news is I really do love Harley. I have a great time romping and playing with her. I did get in trouble for knocking over the dining room chair today (it was the second time that had happened). In my defense... Mom is the one who left the TV on the History Channel and I watched an all day marathon on the benefits of aerial assaults... there's some great tactics to that!

You Gotta Watch Her Every Minute

Boy, this puppy watching is tough work. She's always into everything! Anything she comes across has to go in her mouth! Last night... she chewed through the laptop power cord... I thought for sure Mom would get rid of her then... but no! Mom just said that Harley's a puppy and she should have put the cord out of her reach! Can you believe that??? Unreal! If I chewed through a cord I'd be in a lot of trouble!

It Was So Funny!

Dad got up this morning, and for no reason at all he put Harley in a little puppy jail cell in the basement. Boy was she pissed!!! I thought it was kind of funny. I could still go anywhere in the house and she was stuck in her cell! She kept complaining that it was false imprisonment and she didn't even get a trial, etc., etc. I'd listen to her for a while and then go nap on the bed for a while before checking on her again. Then Mom got home and let her out... she attacked me! We did have some fun playing chase... and I've reclaimed my place on the bed.

She's Kind of Fun

Harley, that's the puppy's name.. is kind of fun. She woke up this morning and we played and played in the living room. She chased me, I chased her... I love getting on a chair or stool and swiping at her tail when she romps by. She does sleep a lot... I go in and look in on her when she's sleeping. I've been sharing my toys with her but I draw the line when she starts eating my food. Perhaps a baby sister isn't the worst thing in the world.

I said PONY, not PUPPY!

I can't believe it. Mom and Dad brought home a puppy. I asked for a pony!!! She's only 7 weeks old and really little. Mom keeps telling me that soon she'll be bigger than me but I don't believe it. She's really curious about everything. The minute she came in the door she was licking my face! YECH! Puppy germs. I've been keeping my eye on her but I prefer to watch her from a high perch. We'll see how this works out.

I want a pony!!!

Yeah... a pony... I want a pony!!! I'll feed it and walk it and muck it's stall and everything.

Our back yard is big enough... it would be perfect. I could ride the pony and brush it. It would be no trouble at all for Mom and Dad. They're trying to convince me that a puppy would be a much better pet... but nope, I want a pony.

Boy They're REALLY Sucking Up To Me!

Last week was vacation for Mom and Dad. They went to Washington, DC with my cousins and Grand-Mew-Mew and I went to sleep away camp. They said it was going to be just like a spa... liars!!! It was not like a spa! I had to spend all day in a cage. No massages, no facials, no mud baths. Not to mention there were barking dogs all over the place... I couldn't even get any good beauty sleep.

Well, they got home and I let them know how miserable I was for about the first hour. Then they were super nice! I've gotten lox and lox of lovin'. I can climb all over them anytime I want to. They spent a lot of time cuddling with me this weekend too... so I guess I'll forgive them. However, we're going to seriously discuss new arrangements for me the next time they go out of town!

I miss my girlfriend

I miss my girlfriend. I like the new house, don't get me wrong, but there are no cats here. I keep trying to get ahold of Moose but she's not returning my phone calls or e-mails. I miss her. We used to have long talks during the day when Mom and Dad were gone to work. I tried to get Dad to go pick her up last Friday night and bring her over here but he wouldn't do it... schmuck!

There were also a couple of other cats that we hung around with. The poker group hasn't been able to find a time to meet up. I haven't been able to get over to the old neighborhood... and the guys haven't been able to get here because it's too darn hot during the day.

I'm just gonna lay here and dream about Moose and maybe later on I'll try to call her again.

My favorite perch

I love to lay in the front window behind the blind. I can watch the street from a safe perch and also spy on Mom and Dad in the living room. They never know when I am hidden in the blind.

What the Hell???

Just what the hell is this thing??? Mom came dragging it home today. I guess it's supposed to be some sort of art and I'm supposed to be flattered because it's supposed to resemble a cat. Hmph! I'm so not impressed! I guess it's ok... I'm just feeling a bit miffed because I got in trouble for scratching the leather loveseat and using the new carpet as a scratching pad. In my defense... both of my scratching posts are covered in carpet and mom did put this rug down on what was my soccer field until they most uncerimoniously dropped a dining room table and rug in the middle of it.

On a better note, my cousin Donald is here and he and I played a lot this afternoon. Nice to have someone around who is paying more attention to me and less attention to frivolous things like decorating and hanging pictures.