Now I've Seen It All

OK... so Harley loves to go places. Give her a chance to get in the car and she's gone. I myself prefer to stay home. It seems like something bad always happens when i get in the car. Well, last weekend Harley went to Dogtoberfest at Lake Jacomo. She had a pretty good time. Told me there were a lot of other dogs... oh goodie. This week Mom and Dad put her in a little Chiefs uniform and took her to the Plaza. When they got to the Plaza they went trick-or-treating at the stores! Can you believe that??? I mean, don't these shopkeepers have better things to do than hand out biscuits to a totally spoiled puppy. Apparently it was an event called Growloween... how cute! I take offense to Three Dog Bakery giving out free Scary Kitty Cookies... I saw it... it didn't look scary to me and I'm an expert in scary kitties. The little bitch came home with quite a haul. She must have gotten a pound of dog biscuits. Now, everyone knows Halloween is all about black cats... why not an event for us??? Meow-o-ween! Brilliant! They could give out lox and salmon and crab. Yes, that sounds like a wonderful event. Perhaps I can get Dad to organize it for next year.

Holy Shit Batman!

Literally... shit is the topic of this blog. I got a new high-tech litterbox. You should see it... it's so cool. I thought a covered litterbox was the end-all be all but no... this one is self cleaning. I step in, do my business, get out and 10 minutes later a little electronic arm sweeps away my mess. It's so cool!!! I thought that Mom got it for me just to make me feel special. And I did feel special... until I heard her tell Dad that maybe this would keep Harley from getting in my litterbox and bringing her presents. Um, hello! Why does everything have to be about that damn dog??? Give me a break people... she eats my crap! What can be so special about her???
I realize it's been a while since I've blogged but I've been so busy. For one thing... I have to babysit Harley all day... and do I get paid-- NO! Dad says I get kibble and that should be payment enough! There are labor laws in this country... perhaps he should become familiar with them. Then there has been my weekend job at the Ren Fest. That ended last weekend. I did pretty good... made a tidy little sum of cash and met a lot of great people. I think I'll do it again next year.

Harley is getting big... she's 26 pounds now... that's 2 of me! I can still hold my own against her when we wrestle but it's getting harder and harder. She's gotten into this annoying habit of taking my collar off of me and teasing me with it -- bitch! Mom always manages to retrieve it and put it back on me but it's the principle of the matter. It's mine, she should not be allowed to take it off my body for her amusement! She also figured out today that she is big enough to jump on the bed. Should make bedtime tonight a lot of fun... I'm the one who sleeps on the bed... NOT HER!