Poker is a Fickle Game...

So, I finally got the poker game back up and running today since Mom finally went back to work. Unfortunately, my idea to line my pockets with a little more silver before my trip to Europe did not pan out as successfully as I had planned. I had three of a kind aces only to be beat by Fingers with a flush draw. Then I went all in with a full house -- kings full of jacks... unfortunately Lefty had kings full of queens... can you believe it! Anyway, due to my severe losses I've had to put off my trip to Europe for the time being. Perhaps next Monday I will do better and get to go. Anyway, here's a pic of our poker game. That's Lefty on your Left, Ginger, Me, Neuter Boy and his girlfriend Spike, Fingers and Blackie.

But staying home won't be all bad. Mom said that my cousins are coming to visit this weekend. Cousin Donald sent me a cool e-mail and said that he'd play Pounce catch with me... I'm so excited!!!

Well They Did It...

Well true to her word Mom put a tree in the living room! I couldn't believe it! Then she said we had to put all these things called ornaments on it. So, I got right to work. I did the bottom half of the tree. I fluffed all my branches just right and did walk throughs to make sure it was quality work. Then they had some stuff called garland just laying around on the floor. This stuff is great!!! I made it into a fort for me perfect for pouncing out of when someone comes down the hall not expecting anything. It was also a great place to nap. The house sure looks different but I could get used to it! There are wrapped presents under the tree already. None are for me though, I read the labels. I'll have to keep checking.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving was nice. Mom and Dad went to Grandmew -mew's house but since she is allergic to cats I could not go. I understand though, and you can't hold someone's medical condition against them. I went to my cousin Francisco's in Platte City. It was nice and a lot of the family showed up. Including my cousin Gertrude. Gertrude lives just down the road in North Kansas City by the railroad tracks. The wrong side of the tracks! She's pregnant AGAIN! Gertrude can normally down her fair share of the Thanksgiving Tuna Casserole but this year was just ridiculous! Anyway, I had a good time and got to catch up with my family here before going to see my cousins in Europe next week. When Mom and Dad got home we all had leftover turkey.

What A Week!

What a week! Last weekend my cousins came to visit... I love it when they come over! They play with me and give me treats and it's someone new for me to entertain. THEY got to go see the new Harry Potter movie... Mom said I was still too young to go... I never get to go anywhere good!

Mom had her big interview last Friday and went absolutely nuts waiting for them to call her... Monday I got so sick of hearing her analyze and overanalyze things that I just crawled up on her chest, laid down and put a paw on her mouth.... "give it a break lady... just breathe!" Well, anyway, the good thing is all the worrying paid off and she's back to work Monday and out of my hair! Thank God -- the house to myself in the days once again!

However, I had already started planning my holiday to Europe when I thought she'd be home and I've decided to go anyway! I dug out my backpack and found my passport so I'm all set. I called the guys and got a quick poker game up for Monday (I figured a little extra cash before I set out wouldn't hurt). I plan on leaving Wednesday and being gone for at least 10 days. That will give me plenty of time to see relatives and do all the other touristy cat stuff but be home in time for Christmas.

Mom got me a really cool thing today. She called it a stocking. She said if I was really good some fat guy in a red suit would come put treats in it for me. I checked Dad's closet and he doesn't own a red suit (which is good because he'd look ridiculous in one!) so I'm wondering who this guy is. Guess I'll have to wait and find out. I did show Mom and Dad the Petsmart ad this week... way cool climby things that I would love to have... maybe even a multi-level one in case I entertain an overnight guest.

I'm a consultant!

Mom has a big job she's trying to land and has to do some sort of marketing thingy (she explained it to me but I found it thoroughly boring). Anyway, as her top consultant I agreed to look over her finished materials (for a few extra Pounce treats). I'll have to say I was impressed, she does pretty good work for a human. It was a real head scratcher but in the end I gave the nod to the one in the middle. Now, we'll just see if I get any credit in the "big meeting" for my ideas! Probably not... who would believe that a cat is so useful in marketing. Anyway, I'm really wondering how she's going to survive in an office environment again without me looking over her shoulder. She'll probably e-mail stuff home to me!

I'm supposed to be the nocturnal one....

I was reading on the internet today that cat's are nocturnal. Now, I do get a power surge between 9pm and 1am but it's nothing like Mom! Lately she seems to be up all night!!! I used to like to pile down with she and Dad but she's always up and he tosses and turns until she comes to bed -- not to mention he snores louder when she's not there! So, I've been forced to pile down in my own bed. It's a actually pretty comfortable. I have polar fleece blankets and a pillow... not to mention it's in MY room. The best thing is that Mom knows just where to find me when she gets ready to finally go to bed. It's nice to know she's going to come in, pick me up, give me kisses and cuddles and let me curl up on her chest to go back to sleep.

Can We Talk???

I've been laying here all afternoon thinking. You see, Slutty Girl Cat Two Doors Down came calling again this morning. Standing on MY doorstep meowing. Mom opened the door and I mewed hello to her. She started to meow back and then... she hissed at me again! I'm getting sooo tired of this! I mean come on lady, you either want to go out with me or you don't. I'm not one of these cats who is into verbal abuse from a mate. I'm also getting really sick of this fifth grade playground behavior out of her. She either wants to be my girl or she doesn't! So that got me thinking... I'm young, I have dreams. There are two empty units on our row alone. Oh the possibilities of the female felines who could move in just right next door are endless. Perhaps I should keep my options open, stop running to the door when Slutty Girl Cat mews. Besides, one day I'd like to see the world. Travel around and visit my cousins in other countries. I would be able to move swifter (and cheaper) if I wasn't dragging a girl cat around with me. OK... I'm giving her up! I'm done with Slutty Girl Cat! Onward and upward!!!

Cooking With Daddy

Cold weather is upon us and for me that makes me think of long afternoons in the kitchen cooking. I've long dreamed of being a chef. After my sauerbraten debut this week Daddy has decided that I just might be old enough to help him in the kitchen. I spent the afternoon pouring over cookbooks on the living room floor picking out recipes we can try. I'm a big fan of seafood ever since Daddy started giving me that lump crabmeat he had in the refrigerator. Well, until Mommy found out that he was and told him to stop -- how rude! Anyway, I found a great recipe for a seafood pasta. I went over the ingredients with Daddy and he thinks that we might be able to make it. Maybe we'll try it Wednesday night... Mommy has a meeting so we won't get in trouble for messing up the kitchen.

I've been thinking a lot lately...

With all the birthdays happening around here this week I got to thinking about my birthday and what kind of party I want. I've decided I want a sleep over party... maybe Slutty Girl Cat from Two Doors Down will come. Mom reminded me that it is still months until my birthday and Dad reminded me that it will take a whole lot of convincing for my Mom to agree to it.

In honor of birthdays my Grand mew mew and my cousins Erika and Donald came over last night. I love cousin Erika... she plays with me and wallers me and has opposable thumbs so she can open the treat jar!!!

Mom also keeps talking about Christmas. It sounds like she's planning on moving a tree into the living room... this I gotta see! I can't wait to climb it!

Anyway, all this thinking is giving me a slight headache so I think I'll take a nap!

I MET HER!!!

The stars all aligned today and Mom opened the door... who should be on our stoop but none other than Slutty Girl Cat Two Doors Down!!! I couldn't believe it! I was mesmerized by her beauty! Unfortunately, when I went to say hello and invite her in it came out really stupid sounding, then she hissed... well that scared me so I hissed... and she ran off to her step. I wanted to go after her and apologize, maybe invite her out for a tray of nip or show her my cat grass - but Mom shut the door and thus ended that opportunity. But I got a picture! I'm making copies and am planning on lining the walls of my litterbox. Note to self - work on the introduction thing so she doesn't get scared in the future!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today was Mom's birthday. I gave her a nice festive collar for me. You see, Mom likes to do a family portrait every year with she and dad wearing Christmas sweaters... I thought if I had a Christmas collar she'd let me in the picture this year. She's still not too sure about the idea. Come to think of it, now that I'm wearing said festive collar, I'm not too sure I like the idea. I've developed this ringing in my ears every time I move. It does however have a great tag on it with my name and phone number... perhaps I could leave it on Slutty Girl Cat Two Doors Down's step and she'd call me to make arrangements to return it... yeah, that's a great idea... I'm gonna have to go work on that!

Waiting for My Girl

When Mom isn't looking I like to get up on the table and look out the front window to see if my girl - aka Slutty Girl Cat Two Doors Down, is outside. She hasn't been around lately so her mom must have figured out how she was getting out. I will wait for her patiently, I know she will find her way to me soon!

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Yesterday was my dad's birthday. Mom and I were busy all day cooking his favorite meal and getting his presents ready. Actually, I did most of the work and as usual mom took most of the credit. Let me tell you, it's not easy fixing a meal of sauerbraten, mashed potatoes and gravy and a cake when you're wearing a full body hair net! But dad was really happy so that's all that mattered to me.

I got dad a way cool hat from his favorite cigar company. I wanted to get him cigars but apparently cat's can't order tobacco over the internet -- something to do with ATF (Alcohol, Tobacco and Feline) restrictions... the same reason I couldn't get him scotch for Father's Day. But it's ok... he loved the hat just the same.

Dad is Sick

Mom got a call from Dad today that he was coming home sick. She told me he was sick and I needed to be on my best behavior when he got home and let him get some rest. I've got news for her, I saw what he did in his litterbox this morning... I think the word is disgusting not sick! Anyway he got home and I tucked him in bed. I stood guard at the foot of the bed to make sure nothing got to him. When Mom left to go to a meeting I curled up on his chest and pretended to nap so he would think he couldn't move. I think it was pretty clever of me... and it worked!

I hope he is better tomorrow. It will be his birthday and I've planned several surprises. Of course, Mom is taking credit for most of them. One day people will realize that I am the brains of this operation. Until then, all I can do is vent on this blog.

I Love the Web!!!

So, I was telling my cousin in Argentina about my parents not letting Slutty Girl Cat from Two Doors Down come and visit me. And that my dad blocked the kitty porn web sites from the cable tv... he told me I had to check out www.livenudecats.com Oh my God... I'm in heaven, and in love!!! You'll have to check it out for yourself. Now if I could only get Mom off the computer during the day!!!

It's Hard Work!

Mom and Dad have decided that I'm old enough to help out a little more around the house. It's no longer good enough to dust the shelves with my paws... I've been assigned laundry duty!!! (I offered to clean out the refrigerator but they said no). Anyway, it's not easy. I have to climb into the hamper to get the laundry out and sort it. That's a long way down! Then Dad will usually carry it to the basement for me and run it through these big white boxes. The one that the lid is on top first then the one with the lid on the front. I'm not allowed to play in those boxes either! Once it comes out of the second box it smells nice and is warm. Then I have to fold it. Underwear is pretty easy, you just sort of wad it up. T-shirts and shorts aren't too bad if I have space to spread out, socks and sheets are the worst! Then I have to put everything into the drawers. Afterwards though, the empty basket makes a pretty good play fort.

I'm So Ticked at My Mom!!!

OK.. so Mom is leaving this morning to run errands and who should be on our front step but... Slutty Girl Cat from Two Doors Down!!! Does Mom call me to the door? NO! Does she let Slutty Girl Cat in so that we can get to know each other better? NO! She actually rubbed her belly and told her to go home! In a panic I called Dad, "Dad! Dad! Slutty Girl Cat is outside and Mom left but won't let her in and I can't figure out how to open the door! Come home!!! Come home now!!!" Unfortunately Dad has a pretty important job and he can't leave at just anytime... I think it's in rocket science or brain surgery because sometimes when he's doing something around the house he or mom will remark that it's not either of those things. So anyway, I can't get the door open and eventually Slutty Girl Cat's Mom found out she was outside and came to retrieve her.

I don't see why my Mom couldn't have just let her it. All I want to do is show her what a great life I have (kinda selling myself slowly ya know, let her see how the other half lives and then she'll know she can't live without me). I have bottled water, an automatic feeder that constantly dispenses food, a covered litterbox (I like pooping in private) as well as a catnip cigar, three jingly toys, a way cool scratching post, feathers on a string and my own room! What slutty girl cat wouldn't want to hook up with me???

Anyway, Mom not letting her in is not the worst part. I found out she called her Mom, my grandmother and told her that I had called Dad. I realize I'm contemplating moving into manhood but I certainly don't want my mom discussing it with grand-mewmew!!! How embarassing!!!

That's enough for now... I gotta surf the net for opposable thumbs... maybe if they have some on e-bay I can get the darn door open myself!!!

Ever Feel This Way?

Some Days I'm Just Really Confused

I Dream of A Career...

I've been training to be an ultimate fighter. I think I'd be good at it. Mom is not for it, she thinks I'll get hurt. Dad says he agrees with Mom but I know he secretly thinks it's cool. Sometimes he even helps me train. My training got slowed a bit a few weeks ago when Mom took me to the vet and had my nails clipped -- how rude!!!

The vet is a nice lady. At my last checkup she said that now I have my adult teeth I'm big enough to be tutored and Mom could make an appointment anytime. That's ok, I think Dad is really smart so he can just tutor me at home!

Hallowhat???

I survived my first Halloween... not such an easy task for a black cat! Mom and Dad brought home these round, orange things.... I think they called them pumpkins. They opened a bottle of wine then took to the pumpkins with knives! I was very curious to say the least... pumpkin guts smell funny. Mom carved a picture of me! It was quite good if I do say so myself.

Halloween night there were people constantly knocking at the door! I don't like people knocking at the door so little to say I was not impressed with these children in costumes, but I was nice about it!

The weather has been very nice the past few days and Mom has been opening up the door to the deck so I can go outside. I keep looking for slutty girl cat two doors down to come out again but she hasn't recently.

Mom and Dad's birthday's are next week. Tuesday for Dad and Wednesday for Mom. I got Dad's gift already, I just need to get it in a gift bag if Mom would open that drawer for me. I don't do so well with scissors and tape so I use gift bags a lot! I'm still figuring out what to get Mom, she's hard to shop for. Dad is easy but I can't put what I got him here because he might be reading my blog. Sometimes I have no privacy!

Speaking of no privacy... Mom started staying home all day a couple of months ago. At first it really cramped my style... had to cancel the poker game with the guys because I'm sure she wouldn't approve... or worse, she'd want to sit in. Nothing more embarassing than your mom sitting in on your poker game! I've gotten more used to her being here now. For the most part she stays out of my way... occasionally I have to bite her ankle when she's overstepped her boundaries!